Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Nostalgic-music edition

"..I threw you to the obvious....just to see if there was more behind 
the eyes of a fallen angel
The eyes of a tragedy."

-A perfect Circle, Mer De Noms

I've been listening to a lot of music lately. That implies that this isn't normal, but I can assure you, it is. I listen to music like it's lifesblood. I can listen to music, and forget the world; forget my life; forget everything. Or I can listen and feel more in touch with humanity than I ever have before.

That's the funny thing about music. And you don't even need to understand the lyrics to have a connection to the mood, the feelings, the emotional undertones.

I think that's one of the great things about travelling, and hearing music from all over the world. I have more languages on my MP3 player than is really necessary-but that's the part that makes it necessary.

However, this is not a post about all the really awesome music I listen to now.
It's about the music that I listened to when I was younger, and am now listening to again.

Like, A perfect Circle. Like the first albums of Tool, or Marilyn Manson. Or Nine Inch nails. Or Staind.

I was part of that generation that was all about N'sync, and Backstreet boys, and Spice girls, but I didn't do that. Some of the best music came of of the mid and late 90's. And I loved it when I was a teenager. I still love it now.
In all reality, it isn't an exaggeration to say that it saved my life.

And even though these bands would never know that they saved me-it didn't matter. They took my pain, and awkwardness, and social anxiety, and depression, and created a world in which I fit in. Not just with the music, but with the fans, and its society. I don't know what I would have done as a teen without music.

"Is this a test? It has to be
Otherwise, I can't go on."
-The Patient, Tool

In all likelihood, I would have likely gone down that downward spiral, and never come out. I would have ended up as a teen suicide statistic.

But I didn't. But don't think I don't have the scars-both seen and not-to show what I went through.

And now, listening to these bands, these songs, these lyrics again....I am now at the age where I can fully appreciate them. I understand them. I can remember with vivid clarity everything in my past. But, I can let it wash over me, remind me of what I was, and pass over me and remember who I am.

All thanks to the music.

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